Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I believe in your delicious
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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