I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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