Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
