he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
