More tranny stories later!
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
whose parrot is this?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
