Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
