you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize