Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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