he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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