paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
my sisters under your porch take her home
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
