Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
