I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
