Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
