eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize