maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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