My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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