Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
