Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Be still, my beating vagina.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
