I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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