we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize