i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
