You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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