there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
