Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I smell like Dick and happiness
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
