God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
