Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
