i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
so let's talk penis.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
