No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
