Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
