So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
