capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It's blow job season.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
