So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
