I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
