she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
