there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
