You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
