WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
