Your tits are I can't wait for
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
