It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
