If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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