oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
