I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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