been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize