I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
