whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
