maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
