so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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