She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
