So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
