Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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