He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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