TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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