Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
