I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
