My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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