If that was your dad, he is hot
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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