Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
