I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
