There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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