I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
