So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
