Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
