Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
